Think about it, all the people you know today were once stranger to you. And what made them your dear one is a Hi, followed by an endless conversation about anything. How different your life would have been if you or the other person hadn’t initiated that first conversation? Your life would have been so much different and maybe a lot boring. And to keep making new friends and unbreakable relations, you should learn How to start a conversation and break the ice.
Every conversation brings an opportunity to learn new things, experience new things, hear a different story, make connections, and so on.
We all have experienced that when we really want to talk to someone standing next to us and that person might be someone you admire, or a girl you like, or a familiar face, and we just want to talk to them. But we couldn’t go due to many reasons like Wouldn’t it be awkward, what others will think or what if she shouts at me. And the first word gets stuck in your mouth and never comes out.
Here we are going to tell you the secrets behind breaking the ice and make the first conversation as easy as possible.
Let’s get started with the Do’s to start a conversation:
Be the first to talk
People feel important when someone shows interest in them. This makes a positive first impression. Be the first to introduce yourself. The worst thing they can do is reject you. But the chances are they will be happy to introduce themself too.
Also, you can start your conversation by giving a genuine and unique compliment. Everyone likes a compliment, and that can be a good ice breaker in many situations
Ask for a favor
When someone helps you in any way big or small, like passing a bag, opening a door for you or any small help they do, subconsciously they make a bond with you, and you will not be a stranger in their mind, and they will be more likely to open up with you.
According to an experiment conducted by Benjamin Franklin where he asked for a small favor to people he had just met. And to his finding, people tend to like you because their brain will rationalize that they must already like you if they’ve done you a favor.
This can be a small task. Ask, “What’s the time?” or “can you help me handle the stuff?”. Just give it a try and see how things change.
Ask Open-ended Question
The most common question we ask a stranger is, “How are you?” and in reply, we get “I am fine,” and the conversation is over. Don’t ask obvious questions that can be answered in yes or no.
Instead, ask Questions regarding Topics which both are aware of like if you are in book expo, ask questions like which book you like? Or how did you find this place? Ask questions that have answers with personal experiences.
So how to find a good question – Analyze the person, listen carefully, then you will get to know the person’s interest and start asking questions from the conversation.
Remember, you are not interrogating, so only ask the question which other person will feel comfortable to answer.
Bonus tip- If you want someone to like you? Ask questions about them and their experience. People love talking about themselves.
Make them laugh
Everyone likes to laugh and laughing makes others feel comfortable. This is an excellent way to lighten up those tense people and to get them talking.
And adding little humor to the conversation will make them remember you for a long time. Although It’s ok if you lack a sense of humor, keep practicing it with people you already know to get better at it.
Be Energetic
While talking with the person, be positive and energetic. If you want to get people on board with an idea, be as excited and enthusiastic about it.
If you want a person to be excited to see you, show them your excitement when you see them. While talking energies get exchanged, if you’re positive and energetic they’ll also feel that and you’ll be remembered after the conversation as well.
Find the similarities
We automatically feel connected to the person if we have some similarities with them like the same hobby or the same experience. And talking about common interests will take your conversation to a whole new level.
Just Make an effort to find a common interest, and by discussing those topics, your conversation will become more engaging and exciting for both of you.
Don’t pretend to listen, listen
Nobody likes to talk if the other person is not interested in listening. So while having a conversation, listen carefully, and attentively. And don’t just listen to reply but listen to understand.
Here’s a trick: To show that you are truly listening to someone, look at their one eye, then the other eye, and then their mouth. Keep this triangular pattern going for the entire conversation. They will feel as though you’re really paying attention.
Well, these tips will surely help you start a conversation with that girl or guy. But it can be ruined easily if you didn’t avoid these common pitfalls that we are gonna discuss next.
Don’ts:
Don’t Interrupt
No one likes to talk with the one who never lets them complete their sentences. If you keep on intruding in between, the person’s flow will break, and they will lose interest in the conversation.
Just wait until the other has stopped talking before you start. And don’t ever say, “Have you finished?” as it shows that you are not interested in whatever they are saying.
Don’t correct grammar.
People feel judged when you correct their grammar, and It will also lower their confidence. They will start feeling uncomfortable talking to you and will not become more open to you. So it’s better to ignore the small mistakes and move on.
Don’t brag about yourself
Don’t try to convince people that you are the best in everything you do. Don’t make yourself a hero. Remember, It is not a tale about your achievements. The other person should also be involved in the conversation.
Don’t Multitask
When having a conversation with someone, you must give all your attention to that person.
People think yeah, I can multitask. And In the middle of the conversation, they will say, “Why is my wifi not working? Sorry yeah, what were you saying.”
Just Don’t do it.
Inappropriate Touching
The good sense of Touch is an effective way of communication, and we use it more often than we think, like a handshake, a pat on the back or a hand on the shoulder. But when having the conversation for the first or second time, be cautious as touching may send a wrong signal.
Remember that all people do not share the same comfort levels with touching.
Phrases to avoid in a conversation
Now that we have discussed the do’s and don’ts, it’s time for some common phrases which you should totally avoid in a conversation.
- “Am I boring you?” – That shows you don’t have confidence in yourself.
- “You are looking a little sleepy or tired”. Instead, say, “is everything ok.”
- “I thought you would not know this.” Don’t treat them as inferior. Instead, start with “Did you know that”
- “I don’t have much time”. Instead, say, “I have really enjoyed talking to you? then ask some questions like “Will you be coming to the next meeting or a direction to a restroom”.
- “I know I am the best.” Don’t brag too much if you are the best they will know in time.
- “Why are you wearing this kind of clothes?” – Don’t give personal comments in the first meeting, like on clothes or body.
