There are some phrases that you should avoid. They can undermine your confidence in yourself and also make you appear weak to others. They can make your words sound indecisive and unconvincing, so that you have a hard time talking others over to your side.
Let’s examine the phrases you should avoid at work and in your personal life.
I need to ask my partner or parent first
Some situations definitely require input from other family members. But if you constantly say you have to check in with another person for every decision, you might appear as someone who doesn’t make their own choices.
You should express what you want to do and what decision you are thinking about, rather than implying another person will make it for you or that you can’t decide on your own. Some people use this as an excuse to get out of some situations, but you should have the courage to say you will not be able to attend. It will help you appear more confident and autonomous.
I can be too much sometimes
Don’t apologize for how you are and who you are. You get to be yourself. You should apologize if you hurt someone but not for being yourself.
This makes you appear doubtful of your own worth and can make others look on you differently, seeing you in a more negative light. If you want to point out a characteristic or trait you have, do it in an unapologetic fashion. For instance, you might say that you are sensitive to noises and ask others to tone it done. Just ask for it without putting yourself down in the process.
Sorry for (something you should not apologize for)
Apologies, are incredibly valuable when they are merited. People see those who apologize as stronger for being able to recognize their mistakes and admit them. But if you are always apologizing, it makes you appear weaker and devalues the true apologies you might give.
You should not apologize for things that were not your fault nor your responsibility. You should not apologize for things that do not merit an apology. You can instead focus on appreciating the good things that others have done and doing your best to help without having to apologize for each step you take. Too many apologies make you seem insecure and can hurt your reputation.
I will mess it up
You might not want to take every opportunity that comes your way, but you should be careful with the words you use. Avoid putting your skills down or implying that you do things badly or don’t try. A bit of self-deprecating humor might be fine, but when it continues or appears in significant situations, it makes you appear as someone incapable.
Instead, raise real concerns, if you have any, and offer solutions. Focus on your strengths rather than weaknesses when presenting yourself before other people.
I don’t know, and I don’t want to know
It’s fine not to know something, and it’s definitely better to say so openly. But you should not show that you don’t care to learn or do better. This presents you as an apathetic person with little interest in improving themselves.
It’s important to show that you care to be better and learn. This can help you appear as a strong person who is focused on their goals. Avoid showing disinterest for things you need to care about.
I am not sure
If you are sure, why do you say that you aren’t? If you are unsure, maybe it’s best to wait? Saying things that you are not confident in might undermine the trust others have in your words, but seeming unsure about strong ideas can make these ideas seem less important or less worthy of consideration. Focus on the strengths of the idea and, if it doesn’t work, you can always revise and modify it.
You should not hide it when you are wondering about something, but there are better ways to express it, for example, saying that you have an idea or are running a test is a better way of framing this kind of idea.
So, which one these phrases you use often?
